Girlfriend doesn't know Boyfriend is on vacation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2AV3cmEWX4

(long, yet worth it)

Females and their moodswings.

O, women. That's pretty funny. How does one not realize XD

Also randomly saw this one somewhere else... I think it was via Facebook.

And speaking of girlfriends, I just have to brag to people who don't know me: it's not quite official, but I'm pretty much no longer single <--- and that emoticon barely expresses the extent to which I am happy... but emotions are ephemeral and are prone to fade, so I'll not dwell on it for too long and accept it for what it is: a mutual liking between myself and an incredible girl.

Okay, bragging done, and you may rag on me for being silly/idealistic/romantic/sappy/insert other term here now.

Yeah, that's cool. I was in the exact same boat. Then, shortly after, I got my first girlfriend and about a year later I had a bout with crushing depression when we broke up and later learned it was because she was with a friend. I can play this game too. Why not just be happy for someone else? Have a good one but don't worry about girls and the like. The more you want one, the more likely you are to totally screw yourself over when you get one because you'll be ignoring her flaws so that you can keep up the pretense that you really do like her obsessive, somewhat frightening flirtations with crap like Twilight and that creepy "Edward" shiny bastard.

Anyhow, sorry to preach. Peace out.

That Edward character is such an annoying guy. You can't get around him, or dodge the topic. Pretending like you give a shit about him doesn't work, nor does chirping him.

Edit: Chirping = Making fun of.

SinisteRing wrote:

You call that bragging? Fine, my turn.

I'm 17 and never had a girlfriend.

21 at the end of October and never had a girl friend.

This topic is a sad one. We are a bunch of lonely nerds... I had one girlfriend once. But she ran out on me and moved in with another guy within a week then got pregnant right after. We never did anything physical, and then all the sudden she turns into a slut with another guy. Very obnoxious. Btw, she was 16...

Mostly the reason I don't have a girlfriend now is because they are just too much work to maintain for the results.


Pros: Someone to be around and have fun with all the time.
Romance
Sex

Cons: Drains all your money.
Takes shitloads of time.
You have to put up with some stupid twit.
You have to actually fit into society.

It's just not worth having to conform enough to get a girlfriend. Even if I did, there are about a dozen total intelligent girls in this town and they are all taken. (Population of about 18,000. I know most of the girls my age in the town.) When I move I'm sure I will find someone in a bigger city.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

This topic is a sad one. We are a bunch of lonely nerds... I had one girlfriend once. But she ran out on me and moved in with another guy within a week then got pregnant right after. We never did anything physical, and then all the sudden she turns into a slut with another guy. Very obnoxious. Btw, she was 16...

Mostly the reason I don't have a girlfriend now is because they are just too much work to maintain for the results.


Pros: Someone to be around and have fun with all the time.
Romance
Sex

Cons: Drains all your money.
Takes shitloads of time.
You have to put up with some stupid twit.
You have to actually fit into society.

It's just not worth having to conform enough to get a girlfriend. Even if I did, there are about a dozen total intelligent girls in this town and they are all taken. (Population of about 18,000. I know most of the girls my age in the town.) When I move I'm sure I will find someone in a bigger city.

Your logic on the pros is wrong; at least my experience tells me it is. You're never going to be able to have fun around a person 100% of the time... it's a statistical (near) impossibility. People are complex and that's pretty much why.

However, your statements in the cons are also pretty much wrong. While the first two can be true, they are not necessarily true. Additionally, why in the hell would you subject yourself to "some stupid twit" when what you're looking for in a girlfriend is literally that: a girl who is a friend. Yeah, some of your friends may be stupid but they aren't that good of friends, right? Why would you want to be romantically involved with a girl you don't like? Sex is never worth that kind of torment.

Lastly, conforming is a kind of catchphrase that we throw around when we don't really have anything to talk about realistically. What I mean is that your argument there is pretty baseless; at least it is when you get older and the walls of conformity start falling away because being real and genuine is far more important than being some cookie cut out of society's idealization of anthropomorphic perfection. I'm one of the biggest nerds ever... sort of... if there's hope for me, there's hope for everyone. Lastly, I won't leave this conversation by throwing out the cliche advice of "don't worry about it." What I'd say is get out and start doing the stuff you love doing. You're far more likely to find someone who is interested in you if you're in your element; you're also more likely to find someone who jives well with you in that situation... just, for god's sake, don't put any girl up on a pedestal. Treat them like you want to get to know them and that you're interested. I find that approach works pretty well. Also, if you don't idealize someone and just want to see where a relationship might lead, then you won't get too put off by rejection it's just like exploring a new dungeon in Diablo III. You might find nothing, you might find amazing treasures, you might get severely wounded or even die, but you'll eventually be able to get all of your stuff back even if it means exiting the game for a bit then coming back to find your stuff in the center of town... regardless of the situation, you're bound to acquire more experience and be better off because of it so yeah... and that was the nerdiest analogy I've ever come up with... hope it works.

Lol, the problem is that my town is mostly stupid twits. I have already asked out the ones that aren't. (And been unanimously refused. Kinda sad actually.) What all of my argument boiled down to, is that in my experience it is pointless to try and search for a girlfriend. I figure when I find someone compatible that will be fine, but until then I'm not going to try and force anything .

I always go out and be myself and I always try to talk to people who have similar interests. Most girls I meet though are idiots. Whenever I find a decent one, they just want to be friends. Which is fine, I have lost of female friends and I enjoy talking to them. But no girl is ever romantically interested in me. Ever.

Lolololololol. This topic has reached a pinnacle of hilarity.

Diablo metaphor of a potential relationship? Toooo funny.

Dragonheart is just rationalizing IMO. Not worth it cause he doesn't have one. Could be wrong, but that's more or less what I'm sensing.

Also, speak for your self, not everyone here is a lonely nerd, or at the very least, lonely.

As for your list, I agree with Aqua. Totally wrong. Drains all your money? Only if she's a gold digger or using you for your money....Or, if you're the problem and constantly buy her stuff because you don't think you're good enough without it. Takes shit loads of time? What else do you do with your time...? Put up with some stupid twit? Again, find a quality girl. Unless, again you don't think you have that ability, which may be the problem in it self. Fit in to society? Man, funny stuff. Total rationalization there. There's bound to be a girl or two that have the same views as you do. You just may not like them cause they have other things wrong with them, or aren't as hot as you'd like them to be, or you see yourself, and are disgusted by it. Like those people who are super against something because deep down they're one of them.

The girls with similar views that I get along with are some of my best friends.

Please, explain to me the differences between a best friend that is female and a girlfriend. The most obvious things to me are sex and romance. Other than that, there is less commitment I suppose and you don't have to worry about spending any time or money if you don't want to.

I'll go through my list I suppose.


The pros are the possibly positive things that you don't get from a female best friend. No romance. No sex. (Well, not very often at least... And even then it's not the same thing.) And she isn't always available to spend alot of time with you. Sometimes a female best friend will also have a boyfriend that takes up most of her time.

On the cons side, you don't have to worry about the bad things. If I'm broke on a "date" with a friend, I can simply tell her and she won't mind paying for herself. I'm sure there are girlfriends that don't mind that either, but there is some expectation of chivalry. If I'm busy or get bored of her, I can simply ignore her for a week or two at a time easily. Friends don't require the constant attention that a significant other would. I would like to see you try and tell your girlfriend that you would like to hang out with other people for a couple of weeks and then come back afterwords and still have her around. It's a matter of commitment really, there is none with friends. I admit that girlfriends aren't all stupid twits and that they don't all fit into society or expect their boyfriends to, but my prospects at the moment would require both of those things.


Anyway, I know friends aren't at all the same thing. My point is, sometimes there are advantages to not having the commitment that most girlfriends require. Obviously though, you lose alot of benefits as well. When I meet a girl that interests me, (and physical requirements are not usually an issue for me) I will ask her out. Of course that hasn't worked for me for the last few years, but someday I'm sure I will get lucky. Especially when I move to a larger city with better prospects and get out of hick ville.

Oh, and my main problem is that I seem to give off a gay vibe. That is why most girls just want to be my friend and nothing else. I am the "gay friend" that they tell all their secrets to. Obviously I dissolution them immediately, but it doesn't change the relationship. Someday I'm sure something will work out and I am as patient as I need to be. I'm in no hurry and I feel no pressing need for a girlfriend. I'm a complete human being either way and I won't go out of my way or change who I am for something as silly as a girlfriend.

Maybe your expectations are too high, though it is very well possible the girls your age available to you are...."twits". Especially at this age actually.

O, you also seem to have commitment issues. I bet you had/have a bad relationship with your mom. Didn't you say she was ugly when someone said "Your mom" or something? Don't really remember.

Lulwut on commitment issues? I haven't ever really had a chance to commit to a serious relationship, so I can't fairly judge my reaction. However, I don't have any problem with commitment.


What does my mom have to do with anything oh great and powerful Dr. Freud?

Freuds a hack. People just know him cause he was popular, and the "first" psychologist. I was just curious.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

Other than that, there is less commitment

Dragonheart91 wrote:

If I'm busy or get bored of her, I can simply ignore her for a week or two at a time easily.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

there are advantages to not having the commitment that most girlfriends require.

If I had to choose a theme for that post, it would be "Commitment isn't worth it for me". You seem to try to rationalize not wanting a commitment, at the very least right now.

There's definite correlations between commitment issues, and Primary care giver/Child relationships. Again, I merely asked because I remember you saying your mom was ugly, and people were free to sleep with her etc. Which seems odd, and like a lack of a good personal relationship with her. I was just, more or less curious, and was "looking for confirming evidence" if you will.

Looks like I'm a minority in the girlfriend department (I'm not insinuating women are sold like objects). Well, maybe somewhere in this world there may be.

I thought that mentioning Freud in such a manner would reveal the sarcasm of my entire statement. I know he's a hack, which is why I used that reference to point out how I actually meant the opposite.

I consider having a commitment a negative thing vs not having it. That doesn't mean it's not worth it or that it isn't necessary. I just consider it to be something on a "con" side of a pro and con list. Like I said, when I find a girl who isn't an idiot and doesn't turn me down when I ask her out I'll have a girlfriend. (Or at least a date...) Until then I am content.


For the mother stuff, I really don't mind whatever my mother chooses to do. It's her life. She may not be ugly, but she is old enough and non-pretty enough that I doubt anyone would find her very attractive. But the REAL reason I say stuff like that is because I've found it is the best way to shut people up. E.G. Someone says one of those "And that's what I did with your mother last night." type lines. I respond with something like "Wow, I feel sorry for you. Are your eyes still burning?" It's just such an off-the-wall statement that it usually catches people off guard and wins the verbal exchange. Another example is when people use any of those gay references or just plain call me gay and I respond by acting gay for the next few minutes until they are convinced that I AM gay and leave me alone. Again, I win.

Dragonheart91 wrote:

"Wow, I feel sorry for you. Are your eyes still burning?"

No, but your mums are. Lul.

Anyone?

Anyway, nice dodge, intentional or otherwise. Never answered how your relationship with your mom was, though if it's personal, and you don't want to answer - that's cool too.

So... people seem to think that getting a girlfriend is like buying a car. Once you have it, you've got to keep it up or it'll not get you from point A to point B. Okay...? I have an issue with looking at people for their utility (what they can do for you), and this has gotten me to wonder how it is that everyone views acquiring a relationship with the opposite sex. Do you guys view it like a car and you have to "maintain" it to keep it there/happy, or do you think of it as though you are making a friend and getting to know another person? You can probably guess which one I favor.

There are cons to being in a relationship, but that's mostly because the definitions of relationships seem to be piss poor around here. Like... really? If a girl likes you, you really don't have to buy them shit or do "upkeep;" you just have to be yourself and treat them nicely. Occasionally do something with thought that shows you care, i.e. be "romantic."

Admittedly, if you're attractive, artistic, and/or intelligent, you will open your possible pool of relationships to a wider number of people. Oh, and self confidence is kind of like a stand in for any one of those three things: if you're confident, they'll notice that first rather than whatever it is you would normally draw attention to. Oh well, whatever. The truth is that relationships probably aren't that important and that sometimes the best thing to do is just enjoy it while it's there without compromising your own integrity/morals. Regardless, enjoy the ride since you're not sure when it will end (and this is NOT a call to have sex immediately... hence the "don't violate your morals/integrity" caveat).

The other truth is that you just have to do what you can do without worrying about what others think. Do what feels right, learn from mistakes, and, for God's sake, enjoy it.

AquaAscension wrote:

The other truth is that you just have to do what you can do without worrying about what others think. Do what feels right, learn from mistakes, and, for God's sake, enjoy it.

Weren't you ragging on Sin for using "Truth" in a sentence, and talking about how, if you're speaking, it should be inherent what you're saying is "true" and, therefore redundant?

Though, I do agree with the rest of your post. Relationships shouldn't be a pro and con list, it should be...natural, for lack of a better word. I don't think you can look at relationships with a rational eye, and IMO, doing so is, more or less, doing so because of your lack of one.

The only time I think you can look at relationships with a rational eye is with types of relationships. Marriage versus not. Arranged versus not. Polygamy versus not. Polygyny versus not. Homosexual versus straight. Etc etc.

Looking @ the cons/pros, as human beings lacks sense as....we're all biologically predisposed to want another human being in our lives of the opposite sex (In most cases) not only to be intimate physically with, but emotionally as well. Trying to rationalize otherwise....like I said, lacks sense. But I won't really try to push my point or argue it, and let you guys just understand when it happens to you.

My point is simply that you can't force a relationship. (Or at least not and have it be a good one.) Relationships and college life are hard enough already, going out of your way to complicate both just seems like overkill. I'm sure when things work out naturally it's great, but I haven't had any success "looking" for a girlfriend and I have no qualms with simply waiting until I find the right girl.

Oh, and from my experience and the experience of all of my friends who do have girlfriends, it's not the same as getting to know a friend at all. (Yeah, I'm the noob in the room who always asks the awkward questions to his friends.) There are fundamental differences in expectations about the relationship. But meh, I don't want to go past my own experiences and speak from the point of view of others so I'll stop.


@Jay: If you want to know, I have a single mother. That always makes things harder. We are on good terms, I still live at home, and we do fine generally. However, I'm a teenager. You can't really expect me to be objective about my parents or our relationship right now. Typing the previous paragraph without complaints or insults was very difficult. THAT is why I didn't answer.

I suppose being asexual has its uses...